Holy Week. THE week that liturgical churches anticipate with a mix of delighted excitement and anxious preparation every year.
Let me be embarrassingly honest here. I’ve never really been excited about Holy Week. Since we’ve been attending Light of Christ Anglican Church in Kenosha, WI (shameless plug!), it’s always been a LONG week of late nights with grumpy kids and impossible expectations for quiet services (at least some of them). Not to mention all the planning, scheduling, bulletin-making, and other ways I’ve been involved in years past. And through it all, I was just trudging through with my head down, running out the door as soon as each service was over, or even before it was done, thankful for the excuse of overtired children.
This year, we decided to travel back to Virginia/Tennessee for our 10th college reunion. We knew it was the weekend of Palm Sunday, but it doubled as a trip to visit family, and we haven’t been back home in over a year. So we decided to bite the bullet and make the trip. The week before, we seriously thought about cancelling at the last minute. Both of us were totally overwhelmed by all we had going on. It’s almost the end of my first semester in grad school. Luke has more church responsibilities now that he’s ordained. Plus he had to try to figure out how to fit in his clients at work since we would be gone several days. But in the end, we decided to go, and we were glad we did. It was truly a fun time. We celebrated Kenna’s 9th birthday with family, we had warm sunny weather every day, we saw old friends, we had a date night. Very refreshing and relaxing! Although we won’t plan a trip before/during Holy Week again…
We came back on Tuesday, two days before Luke was scheduled to preach on Maundy Thursday. In case you’re wondering, preaching weeks are HARD. I worked the rest of the week and had (still have!) mountains of work to finish on two huge projects for school. The dog was sick. Really sick. The kids had a rehearsal on Wednesday evening right after school, which meant dinner and homework were happening at bedtime. Unpacking, post-vacation laundry. What were we thinking??!!
On Thursday evening, as soon as I finished my work day I had to make a quick dinner to feed the kids, get all four dressed and out the door for our 7pm service. It wasn’t pretty, mostly because of MY attitude, not theirs. Side note: bedtime at this house is 7:30pm, so perhaps you can imagine how I feel about 7pm church services? Thankfully, our church brings in an outside childcare provider so we can all fully participate in each service. Truly, I am thankful for that. But still, I sat down at the service in a very crabby mood. I didn’t know exactly why, but I did NOT want to be there. I was allowing myself to sulk because of all I have going on, and since Holy Week had never been a bright spot for me before, this was just one more night service to endure. And I was weighed down by guilt over fussing at the kids when I was getting them ready to leave. And then I listened to Luke’s message. As is appropriate for Maundy Thursday, it was about love. And the guilt increased, because all I could think about was how I wish I was better about showing the love of Jesus to my kids. But then, he said something about how we have the opportunity to hold the light of Jesus in our hands as we wash the feet of our loved ones. I can’t explain it, but those words touched me so deeply. I was reminded that even when it’s hard, even when I screw up, even when it feels like my kids ignore everything I’m saying, it’s the light and love of Jesus that binds our family together and gives shape to our love for each other. I left the service with a heart full of light and love instead of darkness and guilt. To top it off, the kids and I had a sweet conversation about the love of Jesus on our way home, and bedtime even went (fairly) well!
Friday, I woke up excited about what the Lord had in store for me. I had to work all day, but I’m so blessed by my flexible job, and I was able to use my lunch break to drive down to Kenosha and work the rest of the day from there. Luke spent all day at the church, coordinating the various events. The kids spent all day playing with friends and had a blast. That night, our dear Deacon Jan shared such a beautiful word about what Jesus did for us on the cross. It was fresh and poignant, and so fitting as we prepared for the veneration, a time when we touch the wood of the cross in adoration of our Savior’s sacrifice. At this service, I was overcome by gratitude for the clergy in our church. Fr. Eirik and our Deacons are incredibly humble, gracious, loving servants who truly lead by example. I praised God for moving our church in the direction of bringing Fr. Eirik on as our full-time rector, because I know without a doubt that he is the right leader for this body of believers. And I praised God for bringing Luke and me here, and leading us to ordination here, in this church, in this diocese. I left the service knowing with certainty that we are in the right place, and so thankful for His sovereignty. What a blessing!
Needless to say, Saturday was also a joyful day. As I took the kids to a rehearsal and delivered food to the home across the street where we all gather for meals, I felt like I was at a family reunion. The home belongs to our Deacon Jan and his wife Michelle, whose gift of hospitality is truly remarkable. Chatting and laughing with friends, feeding and chasing each other’s kids, working together to prepare food and clean up afterwards. I love this church family! And the Vigil service – let me tell you, if you’ve never experienced an Easter Vigil, you’re missing out. This is the first year that I’ve been able to stay through the entire service, and I’m so glad for that! The readings were incredible, each one in its own way. Seriously, we have some amazingly talented people. I was blown away as I reflected on each person’s gifts and how we all use them to glorify Him. And Fr. Eirik’s message was like the Lord was speaking directly to me. It was perfectly in line with many things I’ve been praying about and meditating on in recent months. The Holy Noise, the praising, the rejoicing, the dancing – no words to describe it. What a grand celebration of the Resurrection of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ! How can you not be swept up in the joy of it all?
And finally, a sweet Sunday morning service. Bright cheerful flowers on the stage, their fragrance the first thing you notice when you walk in. Light streaming in the windows, everyone smiling and rejoicing because He is Risen! I saw a bunny in my yard before the kids got up that morning, and it occurred to me that as cliché as the phrase “Jesus is the Reason for the Season” is, it applies to Easter every bit as much as Christmas. What is Easter without Jesus? And now I can truly say that I can’t imagine Easter without Holy Week and all its festivities that remind us of what our Father and His Son have done for us. Hearing my little six-year-old son running around the house singing “Christ is risen, He is risen indeed!” fills my heart and makes it all worth it. I was so blessed by this year’s Holy Week. It was another step on this momentous journey I have been on over the past year (that’s a whole other post!). I’m already looking forward to next year!!
No comments:
Post a Comment